A friend commented on a previous blog entry that she enjoyed reading programmers extoll the virtues of their favorite programming languages.  After a bit of thought, it occurs to me that I'm carrying on a tradition that stretches back at least as far as the first literate society - Sumer. 

One of the texts discovered is an "Ode to the Hoe", which is a rather lengthy praise of said instrument, enumerating all of the accompishments attributed to it, etc.  In a way, it's the first known marketing piece, but since the hoe was no doubt a fundamental part of life at the time of the composition, it's more of an Ode.  Either way, it serves as a very early instance of a worker waxing poetic over a tool needed to do a job.

Just for fun, here is the tail end of an English translation of that ancient poem, taken from the Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature.  It's worth noting that the text probably dates from around 2500BC.

The hoe  makes everything prosper, the hoe makes everything flourish. The hoe is good barley, the hoe is {a hunting net}. The hoe is brick moulds, the hoe has made people exist. It is the hoe that is the strength of young manhood. The hoe and the basket are the tools for building cities. It builds the right kind of house, it cultivates  the right kind of fields. It is you, hoe, that extend the good agricultural land! The hoe subdues for its owner any agricultural lands that have been recalcitrant against their lord, any agricultural lands that have not submitted to their lord. It chops the heads off the vile esparto grasses, yanks them out at their roots, and tears at their stalks. The hoe also subdues the hirin weeds.

The hoe, the implement whose destiny was fixed by Father Enlil -- the renowned hoe! Nisaba be praised!

Next time you read a fluff piece on Java or .NET, think on this and be dismayed.